Anish Nadh’s Blog

I’m back, writing again! Got a little push from the book I’m reading, The courage to be disliked.  I started writing, not caring about what people thought about me. My writing is not grammatically correct, I’m not trained. But I believe, the more one reads (avoid Chetan Bhagat)  and writes, the better one gets at it.  There came a point where, too many people were reading my blogs and I was asked questions about my religious belief, faith, relationships and the hidden meanings in the blogs. I like to keep my secrets. I like to share some. I’m not an open book even to the closest friends. I keep a lot of secrets of other people too. But all the questioning really made me uncomfortable because along with me, I would be exposing close friends and family.   There was also too much pressure to sound smart and witty when I wrote something. It stopped being something I really enjoyed! I had this need to be liked.  Today, I have the balls to be disliked! So dislike me a...

Another hectic day yesterday! I had classes from 8:30 am to 7:30 pm with just 2 hours break from 1:00 to 2:00 and 4:30 to 5:30. It was a productive day!  I ended up working even during the breaks, making some calls to find venues and budgeting them.  After classes, I was tired, I ended up watching an interview of Hanumankind and I noticed how he was grateful about the support he got from his family and friends. A rather different story, compared to the artist who is always fighting against the odds. I then decided to read a book, but that was just a decision, I didn’t have the brain space to read and assimilate knowledge.  So, I lay awake, thinking, playing some online chess, listening to S.O.A.D. I really needed that energy! Then, I had this urge to play my guitar. So I played in front of the mirror, correcting my fingers through the exercises, till my fingers fell off!  I hopped in my bed with some chess/podcast and drifted to sleep! 

The pumpkin patch had over-grown on the ground. So, yesterday I took some choir ropes and made a trellis. I was careful to keep the ropes way over our heads. I really don’t like the pumpkin, I love eating the flowers, with some eggs. This pumpkin was supposed to be butter nut squash (which I love), sadly it ended up being regular pumpkin.   I had to be super careful to not cut the vine while getting the plant on the ropes. I messed up a little but it was worth the fight

Andy came over yesterday and we hung out, chatting about “stuff”. It’s privileged information so, not gonna share it here. I rescheduled some classes so we can hang out some more. We had lunch that my mom prepared, chicken curry, rice, pumpkin-beans, beetroot thoran (Andy loved it). It was fun. Solomon joined us later and we went to have samosa at a Bengal sweets place near by.  We chatted with the owner there, whose son was an executive chef at Hilton in Paris. He told us about his humble beginnings after they moved to Bangalore. We do get curious to know the stories from people that inspire us. I had utmost respect for this man.  I made them laugh with my Bengali accent, which I picked up from some neighbors at Millers Road, back during the school days.  It was time for my classes and Andy and Solomon left. I got a few travel offers to Bali and Turkey from an agent. It’s so tempting to go and is working out cheaper than I expected. But I’ll wait, and apply to Amsterdam ...

Guitar it is! I am postponing my trip this September and buy the 12 string guitar instead. I will attempt to go abroad next year again. I really wanted to check off going abroad this year but I’m not doing it. It’s ok if things don’t go according to plan.  I will stay consistent with the things I’m supposed to do. I will let go of things that are not meant for me.  I will work harder and smarter. 

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Murphy’s law!  My day started off bad. I had a fever last night, I was shivering. I had my socks and sweater on. Took a dolo. I can’t remember when I slept, I woke up at 3, with the urge to vomit. I puked some bitter bile. I saw my phone had messages from a close friend. I waited till sun break, I call this friend and after the call, I get blocked.  My head hurt, I somehow got through lunch. Then the courier arrived. My visa is rejected. What a day!  Rejections are not new, life goes on. Looking forward to what future holds. But I’ll see you sometime soon, friend and Netherlands. It’s only a matter of time. 

A lot of work was done today. I washed, dried and folded my clothes. Thankfully the sun was bright until evening.  Today was a semi productive day. I spent a lot of time making a list of my goals this year. A day well spent planning! I kept chanting my usual “planning is nothing without execution” to myself.  I started with the 478 breathing, guided by Andrew Weil and that relaxed me. I did 50 pull ups and 50 push ups throughout the day till I had blisters in my hands! Then I plotted an Eisenhower’s matrix to build a to do list.  I’m still a work in progress and don’t know much about organizing my life. But I dedicated timelines for my goals. Just starting with 2 small goals for 2 weeks, and building it from there!  Earlier this week, I bought 2 Bryan Adams tickets for his December show in Bangalore. Everyone has been calling me to see if I’m willing to part with it! I gave a stern “No way” to anyone asking. The +1 ticket will go to a worthy person let’s see ya’ll be...

It was Bangalore’s Avril Lavigne aka Varsha’s birthday today. She was so passionate about singing, back in the days and now, she doesn’t sing anymore. We had reconnected over some pub-g games during Covid. Her family went through a tough time during Covid. She lost her dad .She was devastated and at the same time was in touch with me when my mom was down with Covid giving me all the support and reassurance. She used to send me food from her place at Millers Road and visit me with her husband Carl and go to IKEA.  She always made me feel special on my birthday, sending me cakes she baked etc. It was her birthday today, so I packed all her favorite snacks and also a gift and portered it to her.  She, in return sent me biryani from Khazana, my niece and I wiped it out of existence. Varsha and I later caught up over a call and spoke about aging parents. She promised to send me pastas next time she made some!  It was also Hasini’s birthday. I sent my wishes to her and she sent...

Yesterday, I noticed two tailor birds gathering and building their nest in my verandah, on one of those indoor plants, (which is now kept outdoors). I sat down by my window waiting, watching them hard at work, building their home. I read up about this bird, here  . It was fascinating to know that only the female builds the nest while the male accompanies her, cheering her on I guess. Soon they will finish their home and move in, lay some eggs have little birds in there in no time.  This made me think about people, doing similar things. Finding a partner, working together, taking care of young ones, paying EMI to their homes, taking care of family. Beautiful.  

Yesterday I connected my MPK mini to my laptop and explored some sounds. I enjoyed the process of making electronic music, I’m getting used to it, watching videos, learning music production. I’ve steered clear off mainstream music with the idea of seeking “inspiration”, I want this one to evolve from me. I had no idea how time passed by! Looks like this is something that I will enjoy for sometime.  Gonna be doing a lot of these now. Here’s something I worked on long ago. SoundCloud  

Dear God,  I accept I’m a nobody. I’m worth nothing. I’ll be gone from the face of the earth like everyone else. Keep me humble. Also keep the ones dear to me safe and be with them wherever they are. Help them heal from sickness.  My circle is getting smaller. Thank you for showing me that I’m replaceable, and I shouldn’t take anyone seriously. Thank you for putting people in my life who become my life lessons. Continue to bless them, they have their own battles, give them the wisdom and understanding to live a happy life.  God, It appears like I  am forcing myself into people’s lives.  Give me the wisdom, understanding  and courage to deal with this. Only you know the truth and you know what’s best for me. I leave every thing at your feet.  Thank you for food, clothes and shelter. Thank you for music. Thank you for blessing me with wealth and health. Thank you for family, who is silent and gives me my space. Thank you for concerned friends. Once again...

 I took my day off  after 7:30 pm. I didn’t feel like working. I couldn’t show up to class today! I just couldn’t focus. Mom had my food ready at 6:00, I will eat after writing this blog.  I sat in a dark room, trying not to think. I may have taken a nap in between. Everyone I care about are alive and well. I’m happy. I have to get some sleep tonight or I’m going to have a bad headache. So I’m going to take that one drug that always puts me to sleep! Book! 

Just to focus on the best thing to happen today, it was playing guitar with my students Ryan and Abhay. Ryan and I warmed up with some finger style, He’s always suggesting new songs to upload on my reels. After Ryan’s class, Abhay came by, and we jammed from 6:30 to 8:00. We spoke about building a career in music. He was more curious to know why I stopped playing live gigs.  I have noticed this, if anyone played music for the wealth it brings, they were never successful. Whereas, if they just did it for the love of it, wealth was bestowed to them. My happiness is with my students who are doing exceptionally well. I live my dreams through them. Some are writing their own songs, playing college gigs, they just do it for the love of it.  This also took me back to my band days with Slain. I would leave to college at 7:00 am and after college and band practice I would reach home at 10:00 pm every single day. It was all for the love of music. We created our own songs, cut an EP, pla...

 Evening, it got a lot windier and poured heavily. All my students rescheduled their class due to bad weather or the WiFi not working except Mr.Muthu. I spent my time listening to song covers. It was an amazing day.  We can’t have everything we want, some things are far beyond our reach. Some things take time. I’m so looking forward to this week. Bring it on! 

After class today, Andy and I got into a call. We reminisced about my barefoot walk of shame to Jayanth uncle’s house. Andy really saved my life that eventful day. Anyway, we owe each other. We added Solo and Ujwal into the call and played chess. Divya also joined in for a few games. It was fun to team up against her.  I got really hungry and ordered shawarma! I ate two of them! I don’t know where my appetite came from. We continued chatting about future plans and our never ending crush - Adele.  This is my favorite song from her covering Bob Dylan ’s Make you feel my love - Adele .  Who do you think did it better? 

Time, is one resource that’s constantly ticking away,   A human being on an average lives until they are 80 years that translates to 80x365  29200 days. So when you choose to spend time on something, it is spent, you do not get it back.  This video I saw yesterday, explains how we spend our time in detail. Click here  This video doesn’t cover the quality of hours being spent, sitting and thinking and worrying about the future and living in the past. It all narrows down to what we choose to do right now, that will shape our future and make amazing memories that we won’t regret.  I read an interesting quote “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” Albert Einstein.   

Ryan is one of my best students. He’s 16 and already plays amazing finger style guitar. He always chooses the most difficult song to learn, and this puts me out of my comfort zone. We jammed all the songs learnt earlier. Fun! Each song took me down the memory lane, but I kept myself at the present, playing each note with utmost care. Ryan was mind blown when I played Borsalino double the speed. Ofcourse I’m his teacher, have to inspire the guy!  We also played the intro to Wish you were here by Pink Floyd. Also, I was bitten by the singing bug. I ended up singing in between classes. What a fulfilling day!  I need 2 guitars! The huge 12 string one I played at Soundglitz and a 6 string hopefully a Taylor! I’m already picturing myself playing on them. 

In this vast universe, there’s the solar system and then you narrow down to a rotating-revolving ball called earth. On earth India is a small nation, it narrows down to Karnataka, Bangalore and Jalahalli. Here I am, a tiny human being with a big ego. I think I matter a lot, where the truth is, I don’t. Poof, I popped into this planet and poof I’ll be gone. Yet this insignificant being feels joy and pain, hot and cold, agony and ecstasy. And carries the weight of the world on his chest. I fail to live the moment by thinking about the past and worrying about the future. I am just a speck of dust.  This dust’s true calling is to learn, teach and play music. All the other needs are met without having to stress too much. Music was kind, and had provided to this speck of dust. Music was the only thing that returned the love.  _____________________________________________ I am just so very grateful for this life. 

I took a week for some self reflection, spending a lot of time reading, making notes, playing music and mostly I was quiet, speaking only when necessary to family and students. I cut off a lot of people this time, I really needed this space to quiet down. It was getting a little too overwhelming to just talk to anyone. We all have our battles. Just talking about it and whining and being a victim and pushing it under a rug waiting for another convenient day is not the solution. Face your demons and take action.  I woke up quite early today 4:30 ish. I was wondering how life would’ve turned out for me with a family, a wife, cuddling with her in the early hours, cooking with her, getting kids ready for school. Then I realized, this needs to be done with the right person to make life joyful. No relationship is perfect a 100%, but you really need two people to invest time on each other to make it happen. Moreover, you need to be blessed for a life like that.   Anyway, decisions are...

How do you use emojis?  Often when someone’s texting, you cannot really see their body language or facial expressions. So emojis become your expression of joy, sadness, anger etc in various levels.  We sometimes decide to hide behind or express proactively using emojis. Sometimes a simple smile 😊 could be disguised pain while other times an emoji is an easier to use alternative to a few words. Emojis can also be used to cut out a conversation quickly.  When you start using emojis with someone on a regular basis, it takes up new meanings. It becomes a secret language between the two of you that no one else knows. It becomes fun to communicate and makes it so much special.  I have students who almost exclusively use emojis and also the gen-z language to communicate. I try to keep up with their jargons, learning them! Savage, Noob, FOMO, GOAT, Lit, Bruh, Swag, Lowkey, Thirst trap, No cap, Flexin. Of course I’m a boomer. Looks like short cuts are what we are after....