Anish Nadh’s Blog

I am in a race with Time! He is a worthy rival. We know there’s no defeating one another; We’ll keep competing. I fight him with workouts, Haircuts, skin treatments, and sleep. But he’s always catching up; “That’s one tenacious foe.” This rat race must end. I have nothing to lose, Nothing to win. The finish line is where I drop dead.

I hear you weighing my words,  Observing my actions,  And snickering away,  Mocking everything, I say, I do.  Let me tell you this, I will not stay Where I am disrespected,  Thank your God, or your lucky star, You are blessed, with joints that move, I was not, I am not. So, I will look you in the eye,  Next time “friend”  And you will see me,  Showing You a finger. Because everytime I do these things,  I’m breaking a part of me,  To become who I am,  I’m in pain!  Pain you have never felt. So never play with me,  Or my feelings!  I will not stay! Hyenas don’t have a good reputation,  So don’t be one.  Be a wolf.  Leave the pack,  Change!  Transform into one lone werewolf   And howl at the full moon! 

I float,  Ground is just a memory,  I’m lighter than air,  Gravity has no effect on me,  A gentle wind takes me away, “Just don’t look down!” I looked up to the sky!  Light from the sun hit my eye,  I woke up.  I woke up on the ceiling,  I’m still dreaming,  Why is my home upside down?  What happened here?  Who did this to me? “You did this to yourself”  Came a familiar voice from outside, Followed by a group, laughing loudly. Relief, she’s around!  She’s alive! I relocated under the blades of the fan  I heard a switch  The blades of the fan moved.  Sucked me in  My head, fell on the floor with a thud. Blood splattered all around.  I heard laughter,  “That fool’s dead now” 

It was love at first sight again! She had this amazing body!  Perfect skin, I held her arm, Pulled her close to me in an embrace,  Sat with her for a few minutes!  She talked and I was silent!  Then I stared at her for a bit And let her go. 

Burnt scalp, Burning eyes,  Burnt cooker   Everything burns around me, I burnt in your fire too,  While getting some warmth out of you.  Moth to flame was I  I burnt good.  Maybe I need to burn a cigarette,  Watch it burn,  No puffing.  Watched it burn just like I was.  Your words, were like dragon breath,  I just listened!  Two burning souls,  Sharing some light in the darkness.  She rained on me,  Can I handle the rain?  No! But it sizzled the burn.  Reign on me again. 

Wouldn’t it be nice,  To just be with someone,  If not forever,  Atleast for a while? You sit together in silence,  Sometimes a long drive,  Listen to songs, walk! Where did I lose my love?  It’s all fleeting moments,  Of memory.  Where do I find my love?  Today I passed through the paths, Where two lovers walked barefooted,  Their feet bled, while they clutched each other, They just didn’t care then.  Love, they say, is a wonderful thing! I saw love today,  I tried reaching out.  Love was far-far away. 

Be alone,  Quiet mind, Full night’s sleep, A dream, where I’ve counted all the stars, Health, wealth, prosperity and all the good stuff, Brutally violent enemy,  A guitar or 10, Play music to a loved one, Musician’s approval,  Read  Control minds,  Spot lies, Heal anyone, Come back in the next life, 7 trustworthy friends (men only please)  A farm  A happy mother A proud father A settled sister  Play my guitar A Grammy (would be nice) Be anywhere I want to go Die a quick painless death.

Silence,  You’re my Muse,  You’re in whom I Surrender!  The Quiet, within my chaos!  I choose You,  I’m at Peace! 

Hello strangers reading my blog! I appreciate that you take 2 minutes of your time from your busy schedule to read all the crap I write. Thank you. I just realized the importance of listening, just someone being there for you, listening quietly without judging is sure a blessing. I’m happy to have done that for some people in my life.  Though I have close friends who listen intently to me without judging, it’s quite difficult to open up to everyone. There are certain things that I can’t say here. I’m holding back. In fact, I typed out a long rant here, and deleted it, because it didn’t come from a happy place.  I am holding it all inside my head . I’ll  never share it with anyone ever!  So, here’s a stupid poem for you to read, by yours truly!  Words, I was told, could stitch broken hearts, But our words made us bleed!  Never meant to be warfare,  Intended to bring in peace! If my words are not a blessing,  I’d rather not say anything at all....

Solitude, Silence, I’m in my quiet space.  Behind my eyes, is my galaxy!  I see how you glow,  This is a sweet escape to the other side of space,  Where all that is unknown is known.  I travel faster than the speed of light,  Watch the planets align,  I move the stars,  I touch the sun! I play God! 

The sculptor finished carving his deity, but Her eyes!  He looked at every woman’s eye,  Hoping to find inspiration for Her eyes! He was never satisfied.  Then he surrendered to the idea,  Of having Her in Her meditative state.  He would just carve Her eyelids!  With Her eyes gently shut.  He knew he would have ruined it,  If he had craved Her eyes.  Maybe his Goddess didn’t want to open Her eyes.  She was just wandering inwards! 

Reality hit hard today.  Punched me on my face!  It hurt for sometime.  I didn’t know what to do!  I was almost knocked out.  Then I remembered my vow,  Of not giving up!  A distant voice told me, To “Take it like a man”!  And that’s what I did!  I can’t win em all!  But I know I play fair!  I’m honest to myself!  If it hits me again?  I’ll take it like a man!  *2 red-dragon fruits. Subtle way of depicting manliness ! 

I feel. I breathe.  I’m alive.  Im still. 

May you heal,  From surface pain!  Your bones, your tissues, your cells, your genes,  May they work in unison for you! May you use all your senses to it’s optimum! May the cold and pathogens not get to you!  May you be strong!  Heal From doubt,  From thoughts,  From fear,  From anger,  From resentment,  From the past.  May your soul find peace, Through your passions,  May you find the courage to forgive yourself and others! Rest well love!  Heal well! 

Earth and Air!  He was grounded, She loved to fly!  They called her The Water Bearer, While, I was just a Goat!  Air, she blew everything she had,  Water and all.  She  poured her torrential rain,  Into the scorching sun burnt dry Earth!  “You’re warm” said she.  “And You’re cold” said I. We shook our hands,  Testing each other’s might! She felt weak, after all she was just Air! I was wrong!  She then engulfed me, took me to space!  She was just everywhere!  She even filled the vacuum I had within me. I breathed her! I tried to hold on to her.  I couldn’t contain her!  She just blew me away!  The dust settled in The Earth, craved for Air again.  Or at least a breeze in my direction. She was nowhere to be found!  I asked, but got no reply. 

Friend? Lover? Mother?  She’s everything!  I made love to her a million times,  Not with the body.  Alas! My place is called friendzone!  For, there can’t be anything more!  So I wait, just like all the others in the zone,  For my chance,  Saying, if not this time,  Maybe the next life time

I know it’s hot and humid, But why do I have cold feet?  Butterflies in my stomach,  I’m feeling all that again.  I know I’m in love.  She’s an artist,  Paints sceneries and teaches me the art too!  Organised, clarity in speech,  My “crush”  Then I noticed the ring,  There was perhaps a man in her life?  I secretly wished for someone, just like her.  Then it snowed, just on the inside, My heart felt heavy A song left my lips,  I prayed, I manifested!  Now I wait. 

A father’s tough love,   Maybe the son didn’t want rescuing, He just wanted some kind words from his father,  His father, the living God,  Chose to be oblivions.  The son realized, he was abandoned!  Why else would he, cry out twice,  Father, father!  Why have you forsaken me?  There’s no record of any response from the father!  So the son decided to pick himself up  And RISE! 

Water, is becoming scarce,  Being in a pool of freshness,  Is just a memory.  We look deep down the earth,  We also look up the skies,  Though it’s the most abundant  The ocean cannot quench your thirst!  What do you give God who says,  “I thirst” ? 

In the game of life,  I have sacrificed the queen! Pawns could become queens,  She will survive only if the game is played right!