Anish Nadh’s Blog

Mom’s not in town. So I’m cooking for myself. I cooked chicken, my own recipe! To be honest it sucked! But it was definitely better than eating boiled chicken. The eggs and rice I made with spring onions was the highlight of the day. I would pat myself on the back for not having even the thought of a cheat meal! I’m also practising my willpower, so to do that, I have to finish my tasks that I have started. An eg. The task is sleep. To finish sleeping, I must do my bed. To finish cooking and eating, I must do the dishes. It’s so hard to do this and million other things! Also, I organised my closet today. 

Back in the day, some time in 2008, I worked two jobs, advertising and teaching music at Adobe. There, I met Hemanth, this awesome guy with all the recording gadgets and he was way ahead of everyone else! Absolutely brilliant. He knew just about everything tech, and he was everyone’s go-to guy for any tech related issues.  He became my guitar student for a short bit and helped make my business logo. We reconnected after all these years on linked-in! Now he “founded” the soon to be Design Brain Studio and together we are revamping my music school’s website, changing the logo a tad bit, to fit in with the modern minimalist trend.  It’s been amazing interacting with him, to understand what tech goes behind making a website. Very insightful interacting with him because we are similar, turning our passion into business.  And, I can’t believe I was considering a corporate career a few months ago. 

It must be my new routines, I’m just falling dead asleep! Not saying my sleep is great, at least I’m not waking up in the middle. Here are some things I do to sleep well.  1. Read . I think books just puts me to sleep and also helps me take my mind off the added stress from work and keeps me away from my phone.  2. No caffeine . I don’t drink coffee or tea regularly and it has had an impact on my quality of sleep. I’m able to just summon the sleep goddess as and when I want.  3. Walk or workout. A short walk or hitting the gym after dinner (not immediately) pushes my body to its limits. I’m too tired to deal with any other problems and I just need my bed  4. Early dinner . This is a luxury. Mom makes sure my dinner is available at 6:30 pm. And early dinner means, I’ve dealt with digesting the food I ate before I go to sleep.  5 . Limiting interactions with people.  This has definitely helped with sleeping on time, with no late night calls.  6. Avoidi...

Cold showers was something that he hated. Guess what he did yesterday? He added a jug full of ice to his bucket. The ice melted and the water was cold. He took a mug full and poured it slowly over his head. It felt like he was being stabbed by a million daggers. He breathed heavily, gasping for air. His spine sent a jolt of electricity through his back and arms. He breathed to collect himself, and sweared he will never do this again, after today. He took a deep breath and poured the next mug, exhaling with it.  “Not bad “ said he, to himself. Then, he was numb to the cold water. His skin tightened, he had goosebumps, that he rubbed off with soap and washed it off again with ice cold water.  He felt calm. It must be the cathartic effect of ice. He dabbed the water off his body. Then he had his lunch and after that under the sheets he went, dreaming. 

I walk in circles,  On cobbled ground Trees, bamboos, fallen leaves and seeds, That’s all I see  Noon, Squirrels,  They used to scatter, As they heard my quick feet.  Now, they are used to me,  I’m harmless,  So they just ignore my existence.  Night, Lovers, Waiting for me to pass,  I move about quickly,  Allowing them to steal quick kisses,  Then they leave, holding hands.  Now they are used to me,  I’m harmless,  So they just smile at me I still walk in circles, On cobbled ground Miles and miles I must go Before I sleep. 

I have no bigger picture in mind with the things I am doing in life right now. I’m just trusting the process and sticking with it one day at a time. I’m challenged every minute, every second on what to eat, to move, to drink, to read, to work, plan and execute.I am fighting all my cravings with every inch in my soul. All I can do is, stay humble  and stand by my truth. I hate all this. I find courage with this thought every day. “ If it kills me, so be it ”

In my dream, I was in a bus, to destination unknown. The journey was amazing. The bus drove through a tea estate, through a cold rainy Bangalore like weather. I took a deep breath of fresh air. The journey continued to a scene change. Now, on either side were tall trees with dark green foliage. The bus picked up speed and came to a sudden halt. A huge tree fell, blocking the road. Calls were made to get the trunk removed, but the work would take atleast 5 hours.  So I walked on. I saw friendly elephants and bears that didn’t attack me. I climbed a Jamoon tree, picked fruits.  Walked on bare feet, as my shoes vanished magically.  The soles of my feet and toes were dripping blood. As I walked on, I saw a tree that grew guitars as fruits. I plucked one that read TAYLOR. Then I saw another tree, it had my friends and family as fruits. I walked past them and saw another tree with my students hanging on as fruits. We played some music together, and I said my goodbyes to them re...

To completely feel like a South Indian man, one should get comfortable wearing a lungi. I used to struggle to wear it. Then, after so many failed attempts, it grew into me. It’s all about how comfortable one feels and the confidence to just wear it around.  I went shopping for a mundu  (lungi, but that off white thing mallus wear around onam)  last time I was in my native! I realized Mallu men take  mundu   shopping very seriously. The options they have especially in the handloom section was too much to handle.  My granny had her keys and a penknife on her person always. She wore those checked lungies and had a way to fold in a pocket where she stored money, knife, betel leaves, tobacco etc! Ask for anything, she would produce it from the magic lungi.   The last Onam function I was at, I carried my phone and earphones in my lungi fold. But the onam wear is unlike your regular wear. It’s quite stiff, and does not fit your body easily. It was diffi...

About 5 years ago, I got a call to replace my friend/guitarist/ bandmate Bryden in a very popular Kannada folk rock band. I was excited to start and Bryden warned me to stay away. But this was a huge opportunity for me, to travel, play music, make money. Even my music teacher, Tony had refused to work with this band, and low key mentioned to find something better to do.  Of course, I didn’t listen, I went to meet this band guy. I was handed a Gibson Les Paul and told to learn about 20 songs. I could feel the pressure on our first meeting itself. I didn’t have a good feeling about it. I learnt 10 songs within the first week, sent them videos of me playing the songs, got appreciated and was asked to meet at the studio. And, off I went. I was told I made it! The payment was also amazing! But felt the air get tense. No one in the studio moved. As though they were afraid of the guy. Then I never got a call back. Apparently, they wanted me to plead my way in. “I did not follow up”  ...

I sat down to really evaluate who my friends are. I do have a lot of them. I always look for meaningful connections with friends.  Recently, I saw this video by Jordan Peterson . This made me think about how I am as a friend.  Can I be a friend where, I can be told bad news to? Do I listen to them, and not make remarks and say how stupid they are, and take the conversation to what happened to me in a similar situation?  Do I find happiness in my friend’s success and help them celebrate? Without being envious and jealous? I did some self evaluation and noticed that some areas needed work.  I am trying to get my life together and also see how I can be a better friend. I don’t want anyone on my way while I’m trying to make a big change in my life, and I don’t want to be on their way when they are fighting their own battles. It’s great to have people who lend you support, it’s also great to give your support to them. But, never be a burden to them and don’t enable them t...

I really enjoyed my walk yesterday. It was raining, so I took my umbrella and off I went. I walked through slippery pavements, roads with flowing water, puddles mud, railway tracks, I walked through them all. Vehicles whizzed past me, splattering water, I used my umbrella to shield myself. I noticed that a new Dominos pizza opened nearby.  I saw, soaking wet stranded people on motorbikes, dogs claiming buildings, empty shops, smoke from a roadside barbeque, lightning in the sky, lovers in a car, security guards with raincoats and umbrellas, cows taking shelter. I felt the sand in my wet crocs, the cold rain on my feet.  I listened to the rain, vehicles zooming past and the bark of the dogs. I had my music turned off.  I smelled the cool fresh air, barbecued smokey fish and chicken. I tasted nothing. Thoughts came to me of being chased by a demon. I wondered why I was running away, I stopped running, turned around and stared right back at him. 

He walked through the open cemetery gates, a gush of wind blew, rustling the leaves on the ground and the trees. His cane became the trusty third leg. Here, he felt calm, as opposed to the bumpy ride he just took in an auto rickshaw a few minutes ago. This was the only trip that he took every week, from the old age home. Sundays an auto would ferry him back and forth. He limped his way to his wife’s tomb.  He found the old rag he stored behind his wife’s tombstone to dust off leaves and the dried up rose flower from last Sunday. He placed a fresh rose on the tomb, reading her name on it again.  “Saaar” he turned around to see Raja, the gate keeper of the cemetery with his signature head scratch, expecting something from him. So he felt his pocket and pulled out a hundred rupee note, kept separately for that purpose. Raja was happy, gestured a thank you and brisked away to fix himself with an old monk rum. He was glad, Raja didn’t stay back to chat, gathered his thoughts taking...

“If you have haters, you must be doing something right.”   A few years ago, I noticed some Google account holders who were not even my students, giving me one star reviews on Google maps completely bringing my ratings down. (Google maps is one way people find my lessons). I wondered why they did that? I clicked on their profile, noticed that all of them have reviewed mine with one star and another music school with 5 stars!! I  was amused that people would go out of their way to bring my business down while bringing another up. I was also partially convinced it was an ex, getting people to do it! Apparently it was not. I reported a few reviews immediately and Google took some of them down.  Years later, yesterday, I met this so called music school’s owner let’s call him “J”, at my music school’s program venue! Apparently he’s a member here at the venue management.  He was getting too curious about the number of people, profit I was making etc, all in front of other m...

I read somewhere,  “ It’s the same boiling water that softens a potato, hardens an egg .” So what ever the situation, it is what you are made of that decides your fate.  The challenges life brings, like the boiling water, can only be faced with mental fortitude. One needs to be courageous during adversity to build this mental fortitude.  This is my favorite.  One essential rule for navigating relationships is to observe who speaks well of you behind your back and who has the courage to be honest with you to your face. These are the people who are your true friends and they are the ones who will stand by you, not just during the good times but also through the storms.    

I’m eating close to 4 eggs everyday. 2 whites and 2 whole. I kinda hate it. But it’s part of the diet from my trainers Pulkit and Sanju.   I get my eggs from Licious, sometimes I get brown eggs if I feel like it. But there’s not much of a difference in the nutritional aspects of it.  I used to just open boil them for 15 minutes, sometimes 8, to get the perfect runny yolk. Now a days,  I need them quicker, so Janani akka, gave me this idea to pressure cook them for 1 whistle and off the stove and wait for the pressure to come down. I found this easy to do and the shell came right off. I didn’t really have to keep paying attention to an open pan. But this takes the fun out of having the runny yolk. 

The rain was quite heavy, she unfolded her umbrella and strode towards the bus stop to college. She hadn’t completed her anatomy project work and wanted to bunk so bad. She kept checking her watch and her phone as she brisk walked to the bus stop. Her heart beat so loud, she could literally hear it. She walked past the bus stop towards a grey car that had the wipers running slowly on the windshield. She peeked in and there he was! Anirudh, chubby and cute just like actor Madhavan, her ultimate crush.  She looked around to ensure that no one else was watching her and hopped into his car with gusto.  Anirudh dropped Mahima to college everyday. She saved on travel expenses in exchange for some kisses, plus she got bragging rights; boyfriend, who looked like Madhavan,  dropping her in a car and all . She didn’t know if she would marry him, but Anirudh was quite sure.  But today was different. Remember? She wanted to bunk, so Anirudh called in sick and off to Cubbon Park ...

I hear you weighing my words,  Observing my actions,  And snickering away,  Mocking everything, I say, I do.  Let me tell you this, I will not stay Where I am disrespected,  Thank your God, or your lucky star, You are blessed, with joints that move, I was not, I am not. So, I will look you in the eye,  Next time “friend”  And you will see me,  Showing You a finger. Because everytime I do these things,  I’m breaking a part of me,  To become who I am,  I’m in pain!  Pain you have never felt. So never play with me,  Or my feelings!  I will not stay! Hyenas don’t have a good reputation,  So don’t be one.  Be a wolf.  Leave the pack,  Change!  Transform into one lone werewolf   And howl at the full moon! 

I’m back, writing again! Got a little push from the book I’m reading, The courage to be disliked.  I started writing, not caring about what people thought about me. My writing is not grammatically correct, I’m not trained. But I believe, the more one reads (avoid Chetan Bhagat)  and writes, the better one gets at it.  There came a point where, too many people were reading my blogs and I was asked questions about my religious belief, faith, relationships and the hidden meanings in the blogs. I like to keep my secrets. I like to share some. I’m not an open book even to the closest friends. I keep a lot of secrets of other people too. But all the questioning really made me uncomfortable because along with me, I would be exposing close friends and family.   There was also too much pressure to sound smart and witty when I wrote something. It stopped being something I really enjoyed! I had this need to be liked.  Today, I have the balls to be disliked! So dislike me a...