Half remembered, fully felt.
Ask me the notes on C#m7b5, I’ll tell you the notes and even play it out for you! But ask me about the story of a movie I saw a month ago, I have no recollection. I have to watch the movie again, to recollect the story. Same goes with stories some friends have shared. I’m often asked, “ How could you not remember this? ” Or “ I already told you about this!”. Most of the times, I have no recollection of these incidents. It’s not that I wasn’t listening, my brain just didn’t save it. It is definitely some ADHD thing. Maybe I recollect the music better, because it’s embodied. My muscle memory with tactile learning and emotional investment on the instrument helps recollect. But sometimes I forget the tune and it all comes back with a bit of a prompt from somewhere. It bothers me that I can’t remember, sometimes words fail me, I can’t say or write what I’m truly feeling, while it’s all abstract and beautiful in my head. So, whatever thing I do, it’s just relentless pursuit t...