Anish Nadh’s Blog

I write these blogs to just sit back, years later to read through and to give my current stalkers some entertainment! So Hi there, strangers and 2 friends! Let’s get to “biness”!  When I turned 25, I was told by doctors that I would be on a wheel chair by the time I hit 40. I really don’t like to talk about it. Some of you may know this and may have seen me ploughing through. I have exactly 40 days to prove them wrong.  So here I am, doing the 75 hard, lifting weights, running a few, walking a few rounds with just one mantra. “If it kills me, so be it.” So, when anyone pokes fun at this, It’s personal. You’re put in a box with those doctors.  This year was a year of reflection and transformation.  I met with an accident and had a surgery on February 13th. I got my wake up call from an angel! My sedated brain was hallucinating I think. I was frustrated staying immobile, in pain for 3 long months. I watched my chicken legs shrink further.  I broke my bones and sav...

Allen contacted me recently to be a part of his groomsmen entourage. He’s back in India next month to get married to Jincy. So the boys from different countries will meet again. We have a lot planned next month. Firstly, suits! Getting the attire for the wedding is big challenge, they can’t all seem to fix on a colour. I am planning to get mine tailored.  Denzil is flying in too. He’s planning the “activities”. Maybe a trip somewhere.  Shreyas has landed here with his wife, we will have some fun catch up with the old gang with lots of music.  Bryan Adams next month.. Also booked Mr. Big for February, yesterday! I’m so looking forward to these.  Christmas is almost here! I booked a table at the JW Marriott Christmas brunch. Everyone is busy with their own families. So I’ll end up cancelling, or I’ll find a date.  Camp! Kirtana has put together another Christmas-themed camp for the kids. Really looking forward to the campfire and carols with my students.  Tha...

Today while I was taking a walk in the park, I noticed a bird, pecking at the mirror very hard, thinking its own reflection as a threat!  Back in college, in our psychology class we learnt about Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection.  “The character of Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a self-centered personality style.  We all have these traits in us, we like seeing ourselves in a mirror. In a world of selfies, and quick filters, we can project something that we are not, out in to the world and get away with it. I’m not judging our narcissistic tastes. We are all flawed human beings.  The reflection can be a perfect metaphor for life, where you see something you don’t like. We must learn to see this as an opportunity to change, instead of pecking at the mirror in hate. When you like what you see, just be happy and content without going overboard being obsessed over your wins. There’s always space to empathize with others, and be kind.

We can never get everything we want. All our aspirations will not come to fruition. Even if we fulfill one thing, we will want the next best thing. Sometimes we end up discarding the old to embrace new challenges. So life is never fulfilling, you end up riding the vicious cycle.  The best times are had during this ride to the goal. The thrill comes from pursuing the goal not the goal itself. It’s always about the journey, not the destination.  When I play a song you hear, there are hours and hours of practise that went into it. I thoroughly enjoy the learning process. But after I learnt it, the excitement is gone. I want the next song!  Let’s say you have an important exam next month. Do a little bit everyday. Find a quiet time of the day to study. This is your time. Nobody is allowed to disturb you during this “holy hour.  You’ll finish the exam in flying colours and you’ll look for the next big thing to do. You will really enjoy this journey.  Connect only wit...

Notes to self:  Anytime you get to the next level, you feel the same pressure. You have to know what uncomfortable is, to be comfortable. You will feel the pressure building up before you level up. You have to feel weak before you feel strong. You have to feel dumb before you feel smart. That’s the game.  Mistakes made are lessons and a pathway to level up, and the universe will keep throwing lessons at you till you learn from them.  Leveling up also means making wise choices for yourself. Eating right, cutting out distractions and doing what is absolutely necessary.  Leveling up is holding your tongue. No one needs to hear your problems, everyone has problems. Sharing it with someone just creates an illusion of resolution.  Leveling up requires utmost focus and intention and a long term vision instead of short term goals.  Leveling up also means you live life in your own terms, seeking advice and looking for solutions are all part of it. But the final deci...

I remember vividly trying to learn “More Than Words”, from the casette copied from Nikhil. Today I watched that same band live with him.. It was a bad bummer start. My niece was playing with my entry pass and it was misplaced. When I reached the venue I realised I didn’t have it. So I took Solomon’s bike, and ripped back home. I found the festival pass and got back just in time.  I met a lot of familiar faces. It was so good catching up with Daniel, we used to take the BMTC bus back home together we always discussed bands and music.  I also met Shruti! It was a surprise meeting her there. She is learning guitar with me. We spoke about the songs she liked from the band.  I also met Tony and Shreyas both amazing musicians we have played a lot of shows together. Tony also mentored me for a bit!  The Show!!  The show was epic! Nikhil and I knew most of the songs. We sang along. The band was tight! Nuno killed it on guitar. He also played a few acoustic stuff. It was...

Last night I attended Bandland‘s Avenged Sevenfold concerts. There were some other bands playing as well, but I only wanted to listen to A7x.  The music festival was organised well, I took a cab and reached at around 7:30, got an Extreme T-shirt. I met Abhilash who was already at the bar and his colleagues. Cherian, Solomon and Edwin also were there.  The crowd knew all the songs and were singing along! I just knew the songs from their older catalogue. The screens were quite trippy. My favorite tracks were Gunslinger and A little piece of heaven.  I’m looking forward to Extreme today. Hope they play the old songs. 

Our actions have consequences, good or bad. But what we miss out is intention. Imagine a soldier, killing the enemy in the battlefield, risking his own life to defend his country. Does he invite bad karma? I don’t think so. His intention was for a greater good.  Intention matters! If one has bad intentions of using someone, hurting them, being envious of their achievements, trying to manipulate and gaslight them for personal gains, one invites a certain type of Karma! I have personally witnessed this, time and time again. But if one’s intention was love, then it invites good karma. I am making my peace with this.  Live the best life, doing the duties and responsibilities that you have taken up, with intend and purpose, and watch the world change around you. 

 The Lakeview Park is quite peaceful to walk around. I usually walk there at night. The last two days I walked in the afternoons to reach my target of 12k steps. But, I saw snakes, 3 different ones on both days. Two were small and one big one.  Today I saved someone from being bitten, he was on the phone and the snake was right above him on a date palm tree. Imagine if it fell on him!  These things move very fast so I couldn’t capture them in detail. But see if you can spot this one..

I began asking why I do the things I do. Why tend to a  plant? Why workout? Why follow a diet? Why is my student not able to play a piece? Asking why, helps to be purposeful with the actions I’m taking towards it.  To draw an analogy, I filled my teeth last year due to a tooth decay and I  had a long conversation with the doctor about dental care. I asked a lot of questions. We spoke about flossing, oil pulling, age related bone loss and even heart health that’s linked to oral hygiene! She told me the best time to brush is at night, before going to bed to make sure the teeth is clean and you are not leaving any residue for bacterial growth through the night.  Flossing:  Removes plaque and reduces bacteria between the teeth.   Oil pulling:  Helps minimize the calculus that forms between the teeth and gums. So I have this in my routine. 10 minutes of oil pulling with sesame oil ensures great gum health.  Brushing:  Unlike how they show on ads, ...

PKG is having their Kannada cultural celebrations this Sunday. I was invited to the event by Durga’s mom Suma. She’s an architect and interior designer and an amazing sitar player. I was called to help out with the music parts.  Akshita was playing the keys and I made it really easy for her to play. Durga already knew what she was playing and it sounded great when they all knew the parts.  Suma also taught me a new scale which is called the  Jog , which was more like the pentatonic major with both the minor and major intervals. It was quite difficult to play any chord over it other than the root. But then I suggested a chord progression that fit in and all were happy. Looking forward to rehearsals and their performance. 

People have this different perception about me. I can’t believe Soumya is persistent about me dating her friend, she even sent some girl my number and made her call me.  The phone rang while I was cleaning my music school. We spoke for a bit. She had texted me by mistake earlier and I had ignored it. I then told her that I had a lot going on in my life and I’m not really looking forward to seeing someone at the moment. She even recollected seeing me on a dating app!! I’m super focused on getting my life in order right now I have no time for dating and sitting and chatting with women!  People come with this perception that I’m a nice guy. I’m not! I am the biggest red flag for any good woman. I don’t plan to settle down at the moment. So save yourself some time and mental torture and stay away from me please! I don’t want good women. I stay away from them! I just like the bad ones. 😉 

I had a very long day yesterday!  8:30 am Woke up at 8:30, and rushed to church after a cold shower at 9:00 am to help the choir. It was potluck, and I had a lot of chicken to eat. I avoided all the sweets and watched my diet.  12:00 noon After church, we all hung out and Soumya tried to match me with her single friend. I really have too much on my plate and don’t have the time for this. Plus it takes a lot of effort to connect with someone and it never ends well. I told her I’m just trying to find happiness within and I don’t have the space for another person, especially since it’s a stranger.  Then Andy and I spoke to Neomi and we cherished some good old days. It was now 3:00 pm!  4:00 pm My students and their parents organised an after party. We had to dress up like famous musicians or come in some retro attire! I dressed as Angus Young, minus the golf hat!  5:00 pm The boys weren’t in the party dress code, so I took Durga’s eyeliner and drew mustaches on all...

 I really need to fix my sleep. I’m just losing it over whiling away time on YouTube and postponing important tasks to later. Otherwise it was a productive day yesterday I took my classes, worked out, helped the church choir.  Looking forward to going to church after a long time. Plus, my students and parents are throwing a dress- up party, organized by Durga’s mom. It’s gonna be wild! I know it. 

I helped a tiny guy who showed up at my door with a broken acoustic guitar (yes we glued it all together after a freak accident with araldite) go from this… ..to this..  He put in the hard work, obsessed over it, and did a fantastic job. His dad once even complained to me that,  this was all that he did, playing guitar; and he supports him a ton after all that complaining.  I saw the potential in Abhay and gave him a guitar pedal to keep as long as he wanted! The rest is history. I’m proud of him and many others who continue to blow my mind!   On the bright side, I have quite a few students who came to me through him. I’m just grateful.  Glimpses from the student concert.

I have been regularly working out, eating right, seeing small changes for this being just 2 months. It will take atleast 6 months to show results on the body. But that’s not my aim. My goal is to be consistent, showing up to the gym to complete the 75 day challenge. I just have to find time doing my tasks without slacking.  My lessons are picking up pace again. I need to work with all my students who are super keen now after the concert. Some are preparing for the next one.  I’m looking forward to Christmas. Ordered some bespoke  plum cakes. I can feel the music in me coming alive. Looking forward to working on some carols.  I booked solo tickets to Extreme and A7x. Two Bryan Adams tickets, I’m hoping to go on that with a possible date or sell the ticket, I’m offered 3 times the price.  I’m quite happy with the recent turn of events! Looking forward to next year.  I’m posting this here with a vengeance, a gentle reminder to me!

I got a wedding proposal through my student Nathan’s parents yesterday. We had a lengthy conversation, and they  left it at “ think about it”, but I really don’t know what to say. I don’t have the answer for them. I didn’t feel like “hell yeah” let’s do this!   What do we need from a spouse?  Someone we can trust, companionship, basic needs and a few more. I really miss that feminine energy with me. It could be simple things like someone who picks curtains for the home. But all this at what cost? What if they don’t feel the same way? I know it’s gonna be a lonesome road for me in the long run and I can deal with it.  I find my freedom always away from being gaslit, manipulated and played. A few of these incidents and I’m cautious. Now I play the “game”, knowing exactly what I want! There are options in abundance I don’t care anymore.  I will not settle with anyone who does not pass my “vibe check”. I will know when it’s time. I’m in no hurry. Maybe I’ll never ma...

I’m afraid to close my eyes,  I get into some dream land,  I picture an ideal place,  Where everything bends to my will. But soon reality kicks in,  And it’s all over! Just like my tiny nap,  All good things must end! 

The ability to control one’s own actions, emotions, or urges! My will power is being tested to the maximum and I’m saying a stern “No” to every thing that’s a distraction. I stopped snacking, it’s been 50 days. Though I’m surrounded by a lot of bakery goods, I’m proud to have curbed my cravings.  Sometimes it’s not easy to go to the gym! But I show up consistently and if the gym is closed or if I have work at odd times, I work with my coach to plan a home workout. It takes some discipline to just show up and complete the work outs. This is the new normal for now. Just showing up for the things I’m committed to. 

We are strangers now, we drifted! You left for real to a new space.  Sometimes like a light bulb,  You come into my memory!  I think about the happy little life you have!  Maybe you celebrated Deepawali,  With your man and his daughter! I wonder if you are treated well, If you ate, slept and you took your pills!  I’m sure you forget to take them sometimes!  Is it cold there? Sometimes I want to show you,  All the amazing things that I do!  Just know that I think of you,  No matter the distance!  These words will never find you!  Love remains. 

The Exodus Music School Annual Student Concert was an absolute hit. The kids loved it! Parents loved it! I think I make a great event manager. The key is to find the right people and get the work done regardless. Plus I walked 25000 odd steps yesterday!  I am filled with gratitude to my students and their amazing parents! It was amazing meeting some of them for the first time. I even had two students traveling all the way from Udupi.  I’m just posting some of their comments here so I can come back and look at this when I feel low. 

Yesterday was a crazy day!! I woke up early! Went to the gym, completed rehearsals with students who travelled all the way from Udupi, walked 8000 steps and went straight to the venue to set up the sound and stage. It was quite hectic already! I carried all the instruments with Mr Muthu, my oldest student. We made sure all the kids came over, set up and was ready to play!  They were quite thrilled to hear their guitars keyboards and voices loud on the subwoofers. They sounded ok! Let’s see how it will sound at the show tonight. I hope the kid’s parents won’t murder me! Looking forward to this!  The Exodus Music School’s Annual Student Concert 2024!  Today will be crazier! I’m pondering if I should wear a suit! Hmm! 

Let me introduce you,  To a new stranger,  We meet everyday!  We push, pull and play our games, While music is played.  This is definitely love,  No cheating allowed!  We find time for each other!  That’s dedication! That’s love.  We play mind games,  I like a challenge,  We play chess sometimes Keeping each other company  Through long walks. 

I need all the support and time from people to help with the student concert. After talking to a few people, I identified a few who had the time for it. Willingness to participate is one thing, but having the time for this is another.  Though many parents and some friends volunteered, I chose people whose time can be bought. They will be accountable and more dedicated because it’s work. I employed some of my friends who are amazing with their work ethics and had time to spare. They may not be the best, but work ethics supersedes an expert dodger any day.  I also have big support from my students and their family. The kids are very nervous about their performances, I know some of them won’t be at their best! But it’s ok! Mistakes will be made, lessons will be learnt. This is all about creating an opportunity for them to have an audience who listens.  I am nervous too! As, some people are just out there to harm your business, while others may not believe in you and may gree...

I’m writing a quick one as I am on that way to pick up mom, with Sebin from the KR Puram station.  We left at 6:30 am and I was surprised to see the traffic even as early as this!  Yesterday during the walk, I gave up at 5000 steps, I was almost home. Then I channeled the inner Goggins and went one more round. I was back home with 9k odd steps. It was 11:45 pm. I needed to sleep to wake up early as well. Here I am, slogging another day, just like everyone else. 

This song is stuck in my head, triggering some emotions. Somewhere Only We Know, by Keane but sung by Rhianne  . It’s an ear worm. It grabs my soul, cuts my heart like warm knife on butter. It must be her voice, or the lyrics!  This song reminds me of the good old days, takes me back to my childhood when I was just learning songs on my guitar with a red Sony tape recorder!  Nothing is going to be the same again! Age is catching up with no more of those simple things! The lyrics are quite melancholic, triggering an existential reflection.  Oh simple things, where have you gone? I’ m getting old and I need something to rely on.   And if you have a minute, why don’t we go, talk about it somewhere only we know?  Suddenly I notice, my body hurts with no rest days! My brain is cooked with so much activity, now my heart and soul weeps. I’m almost reaching the breaking point, but at the same time, I know I’m in control. I hold it all together! This fight within is ...

Eat the frog? Who eats a frog? It just means to do the most difficult tasks immediately! This beats procrastination. I have been trying to do this.  Yesterday, I really didn’t want to wake up and go to the gym. I had a day off. But I decided to eat the frog and before noon I had my workouts and the walk completed. I then cooked, cleaned, changed covers, edited some web content! I ate each frog one after another. Ofcourse there are a lot of frogs to eat! I’ma stick with one frog at a time. 

It’s quite fulfilling to be able to do my job as a music teacher. I have been giving full attention to my students for the past 41 days! And the result is glorious!! Yesterday , we had slightly longer rehearsals and they all got cranky and judgmental! Most of them were just laughing at each other’s flaws and was not focused on their own work. Some of them were easily emotional, overwhelmed with the performance anxiety while others were just plain hungry. So I had to step in and speak up.  So I sent a  message on WhatsApp group with the parents and students. It went like this.. Hey everyone, I want to take a moment to talk about some things that will help all of us create a better environment here. This is a place where we’re not just learning music but also how to be respectful, responsible, and supportive of each other. Let’s make it a space where everyone feels valued and encouraged. Support Each Other – Mistakes are part of learning, and none of us are here to be perfect. L...

I went to visit Arun uncle yesterday. He fell into the railway track while boarding a train, and had a narrow escape. He narrated the event, indicating that no one showed any care. Imagine going to Chennai with a fractured spine and a rib.  He found it quite difficult to walk and also to get up yesterday. They have a male nurse taking care of him.  I also met a few church committee members who were there, only asking about drinking and smoking to a man in pain. The conversation was always steered to cigarettes and drinking. After they left, I sat with him for some more time, and I offered my help to run any errands and he thanked me for coming. I checked if he had food to eat, and I noticed him yawning. Then I bid goodbye.  I rode back on my e-scooter, I loved the ride back. Then went to gym, had a very light dinner and went for a walk. 

I finished reading,    The courage to be disliked , by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. Here are some   takeaways from the book.  No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it has no bearing at all on how you live from now on. Loneliness is having other people around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them. To feel lonely, we need other people. Relationships in which people restrict each other eventually fall apart. The kind of relationship that feels somehow oppressive and strained when the two people are together cannot be called love, even if there is passion. When one can think, “Whenever I am with this person, I can behave very freely”, one can really feel love. Think with the perspective of “Whose task is this?” and continually separate your own tasks from other people’s tasks. Discard other people’s tasks. What another person thinks of you is that person’s task, not yours. Just face your own tasks in your own life without...