Anish Nadh’s Blog

 Day 1 started early at 6:00 am. We prepped the farm, made sure that the cottages were set up while Felix cooked. I had pancakes with mango we made the previous day. It was incredible and tasty. While the kids played treasure hunt, Prerna and I made sure they were getting the clues in the correct order. After treasure hunt, I taught Durga, Rahul and Baha to play Oye Como Va and Put your lights on. We had a lot of fun.  Then I spent time with Konarak. We discussed methods of arranging music for guitar and he showed me how he arranged “Favourite Things”  and “Presto” on guitars. I also showed him how I worked on the Ilayaraja’s song and he was all encouraging.  Then it was time for lunch. Sambar rice,  carrot beans and bhindi. Felix did his magic again. Then I went to the rehearsal place and the girls asked me to play some Taylor Swift song. We jammed through the evening and the thunder and lightning arrested our jam. It did not rain so we started the camp fire an...

I woke up early on Thursday 30th May! I spent time playing the guitar through the waking hours lying down on my bed, with no audience.  Then I dozed off for a bit, woke up and packed to camp. I then got a call from Kirtana regarding the camp breakdown, she also shared a pdf with the script. I also put together the lyrics to the songs we are learning and went and took the printouts. It was also mom’s birthday, I couldn’t wish her as she was on call with relatives who were wishing her.  I finished packing and then drove to the farm. I stopped in between to share the newsletter to all students, and to inform them about having classes only after Monday.  I reached the farm at around 1:00 there was no signal, I was on a call with Andy while driving and the phone signal kept going. The farm invited me with mangoes, goats, chicken, dogs and a lot of blooms. Everything just thrived here. Then I met Felix, Prerna and Mity with Kuki and Kirtana. They had gone shopping and came in l...

I remember the time you sat by my piano. The hair on your shoulders, I moved them, to memorize how you looked. I saw how your eyes glowed, the colour of your fingers, the tiny marks on your face, your neck. Then you picked the guitar to strum, I was drawn to your eyes and your lips! I shook hands with you, your hands were not as strong as mine. I remember how soft your hands felt in mine.  I remember when you broke a clip, I said, “let me fix the clip” a couple of times and then it became, “let me kiss the lip”, you blushed.  I remember how we hugged our last goodbye, but goodbyes are not easy. I will not miss you, I will have this sweet memory with me forever!! 

I got back home today! Back to my place. Home. I took a bus from the airport and an auto home. It was not so tedious but I went do this again. I just wanted to experience the bus ride. It was just meh! I was happy to meet my niece after a long time. She starts school tomorrow. I met Ujwal, Solomon, spoke to Andy. Mom was extra loving seeing me after a long time. 

I spent my day packing, chit chatting and going to relative’s places, shopping. I managed to take one class. I met Seeta aunty today, she studied with my mom, I spent some time with her she looks much healthy and active. She told me she can’t sleep, she stays awake till 5:00 am and gets 2 hours of sleep everyday. I spent some time chatting with her.  My flight is at 10:00 and I booked an auto in advance to pick me by 8:00 am. I’m done packing now it’s time to go home. I missed some people. I must catch up in person with them. Looking forward to that and the camp. 

I suddenly had an impromptu guitar lesson today. I was happy listening to the student doing so well. Shes going to be performing that to an audience at her office soon. I hope she does well and plays amazingly to her colleagues.  I’m packing my bags, I’ll be leaving to Bangalore on Tuesday. Tomorrow is the day to shop and all the last minute shenanigans. 

 9:00 am we left TVM to the Padmanabhapuram palace. We stopped for refreshments at Exit Cafe and reached the palace at 12:00. We had to leave the foot wear outside, I felt the sand, rock, wood and the traditionally polished floors through the tour. It was weird to be walking with no foot wear on.  We were just in time, Suresh, the security guard tried to chase us through the palace quickly but upon knowing that we were quite curious, he patiently explained each and every room. We saw art on the ceiling, floor, walls urns, chairs, beds. I was quite enamored with the vibe the place exuded. We captured some of it in pictures, I wanted to share this cool experience so I did it in my insta stories.  I really missed someone with me to discuss the paintings, carvings and architecture in detail. I had lot of fun.  Abin asked me if I wanted to drive, I was excited, and I drove them to a hill full of wind mills and also drove back. I enjoyed driving now especially after the 3 ...

I know the moment has passed We are done talking, for now. It was fun while it lasted  Too bad we have things to do  We have to adult now,  But it was fun while it lasted  You have your shit to do,  I have mine, It was definitely fun while it lasted  You’re no puppet of mine,  And I’m not yours  Sure fun, while it lasted You go your way,  I go mine, until next time Looking forward to the next one.

 I woke up early for my classes at 7:30 am. I still found time to practice my guitar. The highlight for today was me being able to sit still, meditate and focus for 30 minutes straight. I poured all my attention and energy to this and when I opened my eyes I was transported to a dream like state. I guess this is what prayer does. I felt really good.  After this I went to celebrate Ujwal and Ullas’s dad’s birthday. I ordered a mango cake and everyone loved it.  The day continued with interesting conversations and then I started classes from 5:00 pm and it’s still on. Looking forward to tomorrow. 

 Liyo and I borrowed Sebin’s Activa and went to the museum. It started raining, we had my uncle’s trusty Popy umbrella  that kept the top half dry but our pants were completely drenched. We took a walk around the museum to get the feel of the place. Then we went inside the museum of history and heritage  and saw some cave paintings. They sliced the rock to display it there. The museum also had urns, tools etc. saved gem Stone Age and progressed through the time period. After this we went to the Napier museum, which had lot of ancient carvings on rock, ivory, and wood.  The we went to the art gallery that displayed most of Raja Ravi Varma’s paintings. One of which that stood out was this painting of  Rukmangada and Mohini, read and see it here  Then we we went out for lunch again got drenched and reached back home. 

 It rained nonstop today and so I took a shower in the rain today and this was one awesome experience! The rain fall was quite heavy and cooled my body down.  I had just come from uncle John’s house, he is quite wise and is an Ayurvedic practitioner, I spent time discussing my food and sleep habits. On my way back Liyo and I saw a mango that fell from a tree and picked it up. We also purchased a few for home. We had mangoes in the rain.  I also spoke to Andy earlier for a bit today and we caught up. 

 Today I spent time meditating and controlling the way I felt. I forced myself to be in complete control of my consciousness. It was hard to focus. I kept getting distracted but I continued bringing it back. I did this from 10:00 to 1:00 and it was addicting until I got hungry and came down for lunch.  Then I helped Ullas with his matrimonial site profile. I literally had to sell him there. This took some time coordinating with the broker and the support staff at Christian Matrimonial. 

I woke up quite disturbed today, so I decided to go to church. At church I forced myself to sit through the worship but I couldn’t. I felt alone and decided to take a walk before the sermon. I missed my friends but decided to not call anyone. I wanted to deal with this all by myself. I walked to the Karamana river near our property and watched the river flow by and walked back home.  It’s strange to feel lonely when there are people around, you constantly crave for their company, but, if you are miserable when you are alone you are in bad company. So, excuse me while I kiss the sky. 

 I couldn’t sleep last night! I didn’t sleep in, I started my classes early today and somehow got through them! Then I had my lunch and just fell dead asleep. I briefly woke up and slept again. I dreamt of me being a wood chopper, who lost my axe! And the goddess appeared, and told me to stop working and to go hang myself. I was shocked to my sense of wakefulness!  Then I remembered to write this blog! And here it is! 

I went to Sebin’s house and his mango tree is full of mangoes, it was falling in between with  wind and rain swinging the branches, some country variety too sweet. Then I hung out with my uncle and had lunch and took my classes.  It was quite hard to focus in class because my mind was distracted with other things happening through the day. But it was quite a cathartic to bring back the focus reassuring that I’m in control of the situation.  I will go out for dinner with Ullas, for some amazing food. Looking forward to it!  PS: it rained here!  

I’m off to Trivandrum, to my mom’s family. Liyo is with me. It’s his first time on a plane and he always wanted to be a pilot. So I felt proud to have fulfilled his dream of flying. I remembered my first flight, and a few interesting ones where I lost the boarding pass and other shenanigans when a bandmate was late, good times.  I’m not gonna be a busy musician like the one I used to be. Coming back to Liyo, he was excited and I could see him glow up. I’m glad I made his day! Now to go “home” and sit by my grandparent’s grave and relive some good memories.

Today I went on a drive With an imaginary lover,  She had the reigns,  While I sat back thinking, “This is nice” she’s amazing  Then I saw her,  She wanted to be alone, thought I,  While She drove on, With interesting conversations. She would never sell me her ride,  Soon it was time,  For me to get off,  We hugged goodbyes,  She went her way,  And I went mine, With good memories  I loved her, unconditionally  Goodbye lover,  Until our next ride! 

 I took my nephews out after returning my crutches. We went to Truffles and got Liyo a huge burger, which he struggled to finish. We also went to Milano, and had mango icecream and got pizzas.  I ended my day with a long walk with  deep conversations. 

I’m searching for the missing pieces  The things that don’t complete me! I’m not entirely null,  But I can see what can fill me! It’s near me. I wanted to grab on to that to make me whole and never let go But it would choke that poor piece of my void,  It’s got a life of its own. To be unfullfilled, and watch it from a distance, Gave me a high, much higher than any substance  I will not grab it! I will attract it,  Manifest, and  it will come,  Perhaps in my next life. Or I’ll settle for something similar,  This life until I die.

I’ve not been moving much and I feel stiff at my back sometimes. However, my fingers don’t hurt even when I play music for hours! Which means, the more you use the body, less the pain? This week I’m going to Kerala and after I come back I’ll join a gym, my old gym closed for renovations. I’m going to keep my body in check. 

Channeling energy! I have been pondering and having some spiritual experiences, living consciously. My body is responding to the healing triggers. I can’t get into personal details, I have unlocked something by saying “no” to certain acts, and channeling that energy to do something productive.  Only a few have access to my time of which mom is priority. I’m discovering, learning, evolving. Thank you! You know who you are. 

Shared thoughts, Heard by none, An amazing conversation, Ran through their minds, Alas, it had to end,  Nothingness, filled the room, Yet, they found time Another day. 

Friend? Lover? Mother?  She’s everything!  I made love to her a million times,  Not with the body.  Alas! My place is called friendzone!  For, there can’t be anything more!  So I wait, just like all the others in the zone,  For my chance,  Saying, if not this time,  Maybe the next life time

 I started my day at 7:00 am. Getting ready for class. Started teaching through 11:30. Then I suddenly had classes at 4:00 to 7:00 and then 8:30 to 9:00. I have no idea where my time went.  Tomorrow I will wake early to take my mom to the hospital to show the test results to a doctor. It’s gonna be another long day tomorrow. 

 We did a thorough medical checkup for mom today. She’s 63. We reached the Bangalore Baptist hospital at 7:10 am and signed up, made payments and followed through the check ups one after another. Shes been complaining of knee pains, contributed by the bowing tibia, doctor advised to not stand for a long time and to use steps sparingly. We have another appointment on Thursday. Fingers crossed. Praying for her. 

 Today I watched Kung-fu panda with Liyo and my niece. We booked pvr gold and there were only 4 other people to watch the show. I ordered pizza, popcorn and after the movie I treated them to sushi and ramen. We didn’t like sushi very much, but the water buffalo ramen was awesome. 

 I got myself an iPhone 15 today. My XR was giving me a lot of trouble, and slowing down. So it was time to upgrade. I also took my niece with me and bought her a Capt. underpants book! I walked quite a bit but very slowly. I dream of running soon. 

 I missed the blog yesterday, Sebin, Ujwal, Liyo, Robin and I went for a movie Aavesham. We came back quite late and slept. I ignored the alarm. Have to make this happen everyday. 

 Today I took mom to the Bangalore Baptist hospital for her check up. It was a long day and we have a few more appointments next week. Then I played some chess with Liyo and then classes. We also watched a Hindi movie Rocky aur Rani ki prem kahani. 

 Took my nephew Liyo for a movie today. He missed Manjummel Boys coz of exams and I also had not watched it. At Mantri Square mall, we had a huge burrito and enjoyed the movie. Today it drizzled a little, hoping it will rain soon. 

Liyo arrived from Kerala. He’s the youngest nephew I have from my mother’s side of relatives. After my classes, we drove to New Bel, with Ujwal and Natalia and because Ujwal had to login to work, we came back early. Ashish, my cousin also reached late evening to take his dad back home. Quite an eventful day!