Anish Nadh’s Blog

The match struck the box, there were sparks. The head flared, then disappeared into smoke. It had to burn, that was its purpose. The box,  patient, silent, spent one stick after another. And when all were spent, the fire gone, the box, once keeper of light,  was tossed aside.

Have you noticed how some people only seem to like you when you’re struggling? When you’re quiet, uncertain, or going through a tough time, they’re right there. They listen, they nod, they tell you they care. But the moment you start doing better, something changes. Your light becomes too bright for them. Your confidence feels like noise. Your growth makes them uncomfortable, not because you did something wrong, but because your shine reminds them of what they’re not doing. When you were down, you were easy to relate to. Safe. Familiar. But when you rise, you unknowingly challenge the limits they’ve set for themselves. That’s when you notice their energy shift; fewer calls, fewer messages, maybe even silence when you share good news. It’s a strange thing to accept, but not everyone is meant to celebrate you. Some people liked the version of you that needed saving. They don’t know what to do with the version that doesn’t. And that’s okay. You don’t have to dim your light to keep others ...

 Today I gave my blood samples to the Phitsmith team for the analysis. I’ll get my reports within 2 days. Time for a major life upgrade now. No looking back.  After so many days I also walked into my backyard. The coffee bush has grown quite well. I also harvested some Sour sop fruits. After which, I played monopoly online with my friends it was intense and I went bankrupt quickly. It was a really good day! Looking forward to tomorrw. 

 I had this ringing in my left ear especially while playing a metronome or certain notes. My ears were catching up with age and ears are indeed an integral part for musicians like me. I was worried!  I spoke about this to a friend and Instagram listened. I was given an ad to a device that could send a camera in my ear and have a look! So I got that device.  I put it in my ear and saw a white grain like thing there size of a sugar crystal, I scooped it out with my device and viola my ear was fixed! No more ringing and buzzing! 

People throw ideas at me all the time; could be a guitar part for a song, or something random like growing mushrooms. But here’s what I’ve learned: an idea means nothing if you can’t bring it to life. What sets me apart is that when I decide to do something, I actually do it. I give it my all and see it through. That’s the part most people skip;  the boring, repetitive, sometimes frustrating part where things actually take shape. And honestly, knowing when to say no is just as important. I don’t jump at every idea that comes my way. If I can’t do it justice, I’d rather pass. It’s better to not start at all than to start and quit halfway. So yeah, ideas are nice. But getting the work done? That’s what really counts.

 Zui just got a piano at the farm so she invited me for lunch with her family. We also thought it would be the best time for mushroom harvesting! And that’s what we did!  When I reached the farm, Kaya, Akshay, Sherry and her mom were there. We all went to harvest mushrooms.  We got a lot of shrooms so Kirtana made pasta for us with some salad on the side! It was amazing we also had some bread pudding and chocolate cake for dessert.  After that heavy lunch, I played the piano and we all sang and had a good time. It was an awesome day! 

 My alarm did not work today, I missed my first two classes. But I owned up, and apologized to the students and parents. I had to assure myself that this must not happen again.  The other classes went well. It was a very productive day indeed. Looking forward to tomorrow. We harvest mushrooms and have a party with Zui’s family tomorrow. 

The ship roared through the storm, but I held my silence. The ocean was never mine to command, so I let it rage. If it spares me, I’ll rise with dawn. If it takes me, I’ll go standing tall. I do not beg the wind to calm, nor curse the waves for their roar. I will not bend. I will not bow. I will not trade truth for peace. My silence is my sword. My calmness is my crown. Let the storm test my bones, let the sky split open!  I remain. A man unshaken, flesh and flame, Bone, meat and spirit, drinking deep from the cup of life, doing my thing, and daring the world to move me. I dare! 

“I missed my period!” she screamed. “Oh my god, oh my god, Oh My God… what do I do?” She snatched her phone and called him. “Dude! I missed my period!” He, half-asleep and entirely unbothered, pressed the phone to his ear. “Relax, it’ll show up. Maybe it’s stuck in traffic.” “You don’t care, do you?! DUDE! This is serious!” He yawned. “It’ll come, baby. Give it a day.” “I could be pregnant, you idiot!” That’s when his yawn froze mid-air, like a buffering video. “…Wait. I’m gonna be a daddy?” She was fuming. “I’m not ready for this!” He blinked. “You think you’re not ready? I still live with my mom!”

Sometimes you need a second opinion in life choices. Maybe you are biased with your opinions. So, it’s better to have a friend you can talk to, who will give their genuine inputs. It may not be what you want to hear or what you want to do eventually. It’s just you hear them out so you can make your own choices. 

I cut in when I shouldn’t speak When you’re in pain, I feel it too I need to know and help you see The truth that’s waiting there for you. You say I’m tricky, I’m a manipulator But I’m a sacred clown at heart My humor’s deep; it makes you think A mindful gift, that’s my art. When you talk to me, you see yourself It’s the mirror I hold for you At first, some love me, but soon they hate When they see themselves in view. The hard things I’ve faced guide me now My pain, my light, my strength You’re here for my healing, my insight I help you see things at length. I don’t judge you; I take you in But my words may shake your core I listen well, but I’ll interrupt To say what helps you soar. Call me false if you want to, It’s just my gut that speaks I see ahead to help you avoid All the traps that make you weak. I stand apart, I go my own way I live my art with heart And when things get too intense I pull away to restart. I found my path in a dream Not easily swayed by you I play along to teac...

Went to Mall of Asia to the Apple Store to get a new watch strap. It was quite crowded. But the straps I saw online looked different from the ones I saw there. So I decided to not buy it. Then I went to Zara did some shopping and then to crocs. They didn’t have the classic ones.  I was about to leave then, I decided to go to Eight for some Japanese cuisine. I had sushi and some tempura and ended it with some coconut milk mango pudding with tapioca pearls. It was a nice day.  I care back home and took a nap and woke up at 4:00pm for my classes. Now I hear crackers all around. Just wishing for rain now. 

Some books, we read from start to finish, Some just a few pages. Some we return to for the special sections, Some are trophies, never read. Some old books smell divine, Some new ones brim with modern ideas. Some are just recipes, Some make your eyes well up. Some make you think, Some make your mind travel. Some make you want to die, Some make you fall in love. Some are treasure troves of wisdom, Some are utter stupidity. Some we judge by their cover, Some we accept as they are. Some burn bright, Some we hold as memories. Some we write our stories on, Some just gather dust.

I work up to some exciting message from Zui in the morning. The mycelium has spread on to the Ragi hay really well! I was thrilled. But! Since it’s a farm, we may also have some rodent issue. So we are planning to cage the mycelium.  It’s a lot of work. I’ll go there after work today. So it looks like we can grow mushrooms there regularly. Looking forward to this.  Also our video hit 7k plus on insta. We were expecting some 1000 views. So many things to celebrate!  We are EXCITED! 

Hey, you. Yes! you. I know who you are. Only because I once knew who I was. I saw it coming a mile away, and I played my moves.  Calculated. The Queen has fallen. The Knight sacrificed. Only a King wins. 

We decided to finish Aquatic Mode yesterday and that is what we did! Nikhil edited and put together the videos that Kaya and Akshay shot in April.  I did the music production working with Abin from Broadland Atmos. It was a lot of work we uploaded the video on YouTube  last night and celebrated our first music video.  The celebration was short lived. We are already working on our next song excited for that!

The child was drawn to the flame,  Crawled toward the candle,  Loved its warmth,  Yet knew it would burn the skin.   I have only one burning desire!  Let me stand next to your fire. 

The shit I write on these posts isn’t always what I feel. As an artist, it’s my job to draw from things I’ve seen, felt, or imagined; events, incidents, emotions, all of it. Sometimes it’s about longing or sadness, other times it’s just me writing about something as boring as my day. And once in a while, it’s happy stuff too.   It only gets personal when it really hits me. Truth is, I haven’t felt much for a while so numbness has been my longest relationship. So no, it’s not some cryptic message to a romantic interest. Let’s just call it artistic license.   Writing across different moods, I think, builds a connection; maybe even with you reading this. Every now and then, I go back and read my old blogs. Some of them become songs I make. I relive those moments, feel those feelings again. It’s strange, but nice.   Also, I’ve somehow managed to write every single day and honestly, that itself feels like an achievement.

I feel heaviness in my chest, A quiet storm I cannot rest.  Her voice still hums in my veins, A melody of joy and pain.  I long to call, to bridge that space,  To hear her breathe, to see her face again.  But I resist, my heart reluctantly obeys,  The silence I built, holds its place.  Who are you to judge my flame?  To name my love, to play this game?  It may burn only from one side,  But, it still burns, in the corner of my heart.  I ache, even time cannot repair!  Some truths belong to God as well,  Truth I’ll never confess to you mortals,  Who question the authenticity of my morals,  May you never know the deapths I feel,  The dreams I guard, the wounds I seal,  I’ll be the ghost, who never fit where others rest,  For sure, I’ll NEVER be your Ex. 

I went to the Sofar gig today with Akshay, Arjun and Zui. The event was held at Sabha. I also caught up with Prarthna the Sofar head and Becky, who was my student for a very brief period of time. We discussed about my band Lofrat playing a gig there, looks like we will, as soon as we are ready.  The gig was interesting with Sanjeetha Bhattacharya opening the set. An amazing guitar and vocal jazz duo. I really enjoyed the performance. This was followed by Nush Lewis, on harp doing her singer songwriter set.  Sofar surprised us in the end with Alva Kuuto, a four piece band singing in Tulu. This band was quite interesting we all loved the vibe. All of them were amazing and the crowd got them. We were really curious about what their songs were about.  After the gig, we went to Arbour, our usual hangout place. I ordered a tenderloin steak. After much laughter, we all hopped in to a cab (minus Arjun) and left to home! 

Subject: Vaidhyanathan Age: 40 Profession: Lawyer  Marital Status: Divorced  Notes: Growing up in a traditional family, Vaidyanathan was a man of routine. He woke up at 3:00 a.m., after promptly going to bed at 9:30 p.m. A lawyer by profession, he was well organised. He found the time to do everything, until the new intern joined.  She did not wear too much makeup. Just the basics, but he was mesmerized by her magnetic eyes. He made sure to maintain eye contact when they spoke. They caught up over conversations at the coffee table. Eventually, he couldn’t pay attention to what she was saying, but her voice was soothing .  He fumbled at the sight of her. His legs gave way. He felt weak when her hands brushed against his, near the instant coffee machine. He was shaking, she was breathtaking! A wind came out of nowhere! Filmi style , his hair danced in the breeze .  There was no dearth of goddesses. There were millions. But when he found one, he made her his deity...

Andy and I went for a walk today, because he wanted to complete his workout goals. After the walk we saw those bikes that go round and round and we both intuitively wanted to sit on it. And that’s exactly what we did! We felt like kids again when life used to be simple and with very few responsibilities.  After the walk we went to Milanos with Sebin and Solomon for dinner and we saw the cute ice-cream barista laugh finally! That was a rare sight for all of us. We hung out there till 11:00 and headed back home. 

Yellow,  Yellow were fleshy pods of wild Jacks,  Tangy and sweet like Mangosteen  Yellow was the colour of the flowers  That fought its way outside bricks laid in circle  Yellow was the sun,  Just after the golden hour Yellow were your nails,  Half painted peeling off  Yellow was the trunk you painted  With roses and leaves  Yet, blue was how I felt,  After the day was done.

Zui and I had been planning to grow mushrooms for a very long time! So, I went and got some mushroom spawn from IIHR, while Zui sourced different types of hay. I picked her up at the metro station at 9:30 am, and off we went to her farm.   It was a lot of work; cleaning what used to be the horse shed and prepping the place to hang the mushrooms. We also had to clear out a lot of old storage stuff. After that, we sterilized the hay and straw by boiling them in batches, stacking the hay, and layering it with mushroom spawn. We used Rhodes, Junglee, and Ragi hay, and had two varieties of mushrooms; Oyster Elm and Oyster Florida. We labeled everything for identification. We’ve done our best; now it’s up to the mushrooms to perform! Leaving it to the universe to do its thing.   We also protected the setup with mosquito nets and a tarp, and ended the day with a drive to The Ranch at Big Banyan Vineyard. Super tired but excited. Fingers crossed! 

He never raised his voice,  only his eyebrow.  That was enough  to make her fold.   He loved her  between storms hands soft one day,  silence sharp the next.   She learned to read  his moods like scripture,  to pray for the days  he smiled at her name.   When he broke her,  he was always sorry.  When he fixed her,  she thanked him for staying.   Her laughter faded  into the sound of his footsteps.  Her dreams grew small enough  to fit inside his shadow.   But one day,  the mirror spoke truth,  a stranger stared back,  tied by a trembling thread.   It wasn’t love  that held her there,  but fear gentle, familiar, and deadly quiet.  When she finally  let go of the thread,  it didn’t snap It dissolved.   And the silence that followed  was the first sound of her freedom.

Every person in this planet produces and consumes products or services. That’s how we earn and spend. The difference between the two decides everything in your life.  When you create useful products and services you add value to the society. You build your self worth.  When all you do is consume, scrolling reels going to party junk food, endless trips, you’re feeding your impulses but you don’t move forward. The ones who take and not give back, is seen as a liability.  Even the most successful people today are still building. Jeff Besos, Elon Musk and Gates are still building space and computer tech even though they don’t have to. They don’t need to do it. They want to.  Am I producing more than I consume? Write, build, teach, help, sell, innovate, produce something! Anything. In every era, the givers win!

Today was the most laziest day ever. I stayed on bed almost without anything to do. I played some guitar but apart from that and texting some students, I did absolutely nothing. No cooking, nothing. I had complete freedom! I was not answerable to anyone. No one nagging me to make plans, no kids crying and yelling. No chaos! Just peace. I think I made some wise decisions early on. The past was shitty, the present is awesome  and the future unknown.  This year I discovered the more I gave away happily, the more I received. I feel blessed. I know the angels are watching me. Thank you universe for sending good karma to me. 

Had this dream today…    The Queen asked the Riddler. Why do you speak to me in riddles?  The riddler responded.  “I weave my words in tangled wool, Unread by all, though often read. Their meaning none but one has seen, These riddles speak only to the Queen.” The Queen was angry. “Lose your head! You offend the Queen”  The Riddler pleaded.  “Pardon me, Oh Queen,  Your wisdom and beauty has taken over my heart.  If it displeases the Queen on how I act,  I shall be out of her sight.” Queen ordered:  “Behead this fool, It is my command!  He must never look into my eyes.” A sword unsheathed,  The Riddler’s head rolled on the floor. 

I just got an invite from Sofar Sounds Bangalore, they’re celebrating 10 years, and I’m on the guest list.  It feels special, because I played a solo gig at Sofar when they were just beginning. Back then it was scrappy and intimate (their words), a few volunteers, a couple of artists, and an audience packed into a tiny living room on Cunningham Road.  There was no stage, no lights, no production. Just raw music, curious listeners, and the joy of discovery.  To see Sofar complete a decade and grow into a 12,000+ strong community while still keeping that spirit alive is inspiring. They’ve hosted over 120 concerts and brought in 250+ artists; yet they haven’t forgotten the early performers who helped shape those beginnings. That means something.   The upcoming anniversary show is at an iconic venue in the heart of the city, with a mix of old favourites and new voices. It feels like a full circle moment — not just for Sofar, but for everyone who has been part of this jou...

Ego stirred, rising with hunger for conflict.  Blame scattered outward like sparks seeking dry wood. Words became sharpened swords, flung to the wounds.  A finger stretched outward, yet shadows curled inward.   The wound it carved in others bled back into itself.  Fault lingered like smoke it could not escape.  Each word was not a weapon but a cry disguised.  And in the silence, three unseen fingers bent towards itself.  What it sought to destroy was only itself,  and what it longed for all along was love. 

Yesterday was a bit of a “fixing day.” My piano stool had been broken for a while, so I finally decided to sort it out. The first welder I went to said it needed gas welding, so I got that done. Then I took it to another welder to get some primer on, picked up some black paint, and gave it a fresh coat myself. Now the fixed part looks shiny.  I also got my spike buster fixed. Normally, I would’ve just bought a new one, but this time I thought, why not repair it? The electrician said he needed two days, which sounded fair enough.  To top of that, I upgraded my internet to ACT’s super fast connection; no more hanging or lagging. And to wrap it up, I replaced the UPS batteries. This new set gives me a solid 10 hours of backup and even comes with a 6-year warranty.  Somewhere in the middle of all this, I realized how we hardly ever fix things anymore. It’s easier to replace stuff, and sometimes that’s the right thing to do, like my old modem and batteries, which lasted over 1...