Anish Nadh’s Blog

We have our own individual experience with God or universe. We have had our fair share of lessons, that has enlightened us all the way, until now. With such vast knowledge available to us, dismissing someone else’s belief without giving valid reasons for doing so only shows that we still have much more to learn. Big or small, there’s always something to learn from everyone. I think I can learn a lot about swimming from my 10 year old athlete student, who may not be adept at playing guitar as much as I do.  We also teach people, who seek knowledge from us. When we make super big claims on our knowledge of the universe and are questioned with curiosity, if we cannot explain it, maybe we don’t know much about it.  It’s quite rare to find people who can sync with your thoughts about anything under the sun, where conversations can be made without judgments.  Other times, it is wiser to not engage in conversations with people who are just asking questions for arguments and are ...

Confessions are for sinners. I have not sinned.  I was only true,  True to my heart.   What is true to me  May never be your truth,  Yet I confess.  I was true.  

I experienced the flow state recently while composing music. I just couldn’t stop. I wasn’t thinking. I couldn’t keep track of time.  I sometimes get frustrated when there’s so much music in my head and I can’t express it through my fingers. It’s quite abstract what I hear, not the commercial kind. I try to tune in to that. Chasing and pursuing that is an arduous journey. It tires me. I distract myself with life, mundane things like cleaning or working. I guess life is the ultimate comfort zone. 

 Camy visited Bangalore all the way from Canada. We hung out at my place. Vridhi also joined us and we all went to Milanos, played some uno and had our dinner there. Italian cuisine was on the menu. I loved the pizza there.  Camy also got my some authentic Canadian maple syrup.. looking forward to that this week. 

Walked the streets of Magadi yesterday. The market was buzzing with activity. It was entirely different from what we are used to. People were bargaining, yelling out to sell fruits and vegetables. Also, it being Ganesh Chathurthi added to the vibes. We picked up some clay and sculpted Ganesha and also did a cute mooshika. It was a fun day. Then went straight to jam and got back at 2:00 am. The blog is late. So I’ll have to write two today! 

If you genuinely see the world as one, then superiority and inferiority dissolves, because those are comparisons that only make sense when things are separate.   So if someone feels “superior” for being more “in touch” with the cosmos, they’ve actually fallen back into duality they’re creating a divide (me vs. them). This contradicts the very state of oneness they claim to feel.  In that sense, equanimity is the true sign of being connected. To see everything what you like and dislike, what you call higher or lower as equally part of yourself.

I write because I want to be understood. But there’s a paradox to it. Every metaphor feels like a veil. Misunderstanding creeps in. You think you know me, but you really don’t. What you actually see is a glimpse of yourself reflected in my writing, and that’s how we connect. Yes, we are connected through these words. What I write or speak may seem like an open door to my thoughts, but is it really open? Or are you seeing a reflection of yourself here? Maybe you’ll never uncover the true meaning. So, without my knowledge, you step inside my head, wandering through it. Then you notice a door, an exit back to your own world, because you’ve made some meaning out of my words. That’s how you find your way out. But why do you return for more? There’s nothing here, except love. Love is beyond misunderstandings, illusions and metaphors. Our bond transcends all literal understandings for sure. 

I caught up with Siddharth Gautam on Google meet today. We discussed about the melodic minor and how to use it. It was mostly guitar talk. We also shared thoughts on composing solos and songs. I have so many ideas and insights from just one conversation with him. Everytime I talk to Siddharth, I come back with a year long information to work on. 

Your sun radiated warmth to my soil.  It grew a plant.  I chose not to water it,  But waited for the rain.   I guarded it  From aphids and ants.  The sun shone brighter,  Drying some leaves.   The plant fought  Against dry, hardened soil.  You in your lane,  I in mine.   Perhaps  The plant will bloom,  If God showers mercy And sends in the rains.

Where did you come from?  Where are you Going?  Can I follow you? We asked the leopard.

The Malayalam teacher, with her curly hair and cane in hand, asked me to show my homework. I had conveniently forgotten my book. She walked towards me, asked me to stretch out my hand, and hit me with her cane. She had the fragrance of cardamom around her reminding me of my mother’s tea. While I was nursing my hand, my eyes fell on the third bench in the left row. Miriam was looking back at me. I stared back. She adjusted her hair and smiled. I looked around in disbelief, to check if she was looking at someone else. But NO! she was looking at me. My classmates later agreed she had a “thing” for me. Maybe it was because I had sung in class the previous day. During math class, she stared back again. We looked at each other smiled. This happened throughout the day. A peculiar feeling rose within me. My heart raced, the hair on my head stood on end, the air was different and my friend teased me. I noticed her friends teasing her too. The staring continued over days, weeks and months. We ne...

A photograph is stillness through time. We capture moments because time is fleeting, and we want to keep them. We hoard memories, something to hold on to when our own memory fails. Some of us write songs instead. Sometimes a smell, a touch, a taste, a sound, or a sight takes us back to that stillness of time from the past..And we will be remembered..  long after we are gone. The songs we make will live on, even as we fade away. We die and become still, but the music carries forward… our stillness… transformed into sound that never truly disappears.

Had this interesting conversation about The 27 Club with Vibhas, a guitar student of mine. After class, we chat about everything related to music. We were learning about the Hendrix chord today and the conversation went to Italian violinist   Paganini ,  who was labeled as the devil’s violinist because his violin playing was so damn good! Paganini was said to have done some deal with the devil but survived and lived miserably until he died.  Speaking of the deal with the devil and 27 club, there’s a movie called Cross Roads . The movie connects Paganini (through the music played by Vai in the movie) Robert Johnson. You really need to know Paganini, Hendrix, Vai and Robert Johnson’s history to really appreciate this movie.  Meanwhile enjoy this scene

My Sound Cloud page has this song called Hair Line Fracture. I wrote it when Camy threw a basketball hard on my fingers and both my middle fingers had a very small fracture. I wrote it out of frustration of not being able to play the guitar. I used software and created this like a ring tone.  Now, I’ve converted that song for my band… all on guitars and drums. Fingers crossed! Middle finger over the index!  Listen to it all here: Anish’s Sound Cloud  

Inhale your lung-ful and some more. Release through the mouth slowly. I was given a small tip, as I got pissed off today.  I did it! And viola! It helps!

I’ve been challenging my students by enrolling them in the Trinity Exams. Each of them is putting in tremendous time and effort, and I’m already seeing great results. I see my role as a catalyst; while they do the hard work, I ensure they practice diligently and guide their progress. Nothing can stop a self-motivated individual. I’m truly inspired by their promising talent and super excited about the exams! I may be a bit of an asshole to many others, but I know I’ve done something worthwhile in shaping some future musicians. Some fulfillment there…sigh!   That’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly.

Real learning begins the moment you realize  you’re not the smartest person in the room.  You can learn something from anyone — the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, Andrew Tate, Kamala Harris, Steve Vai… you name it. But here’s the thing: you need discernment. You can’t learn everything from everyone. Real learning starts when you accept that the person you’re speaking to might just know something you don’t.

Watching Game of Thrones, I like this character : Tyrion Lannister, played by Peter Dinklage, he uses wit and intellect to overcome the prejudice he faces. Quite relatable.  One of his quotes that I enjoyed was this, "If you're going to be a cripple, it's better to be a rich cripple."  I’m enjoying it so far. It’s much more than “incest porn”, as claimed by some. There’s politics, rituals, strong characters and stories. It’s all about honor, glory and valor of great men and women.  

Amongst all the notes we played, is silence.  In music, we call them rests,  I loved the music we made,  Sometimes, an ear-worm appeared,  In the form of your voice,  Or something you said.  Music to my ears.  But right now,  I’m enjoying your symphony!  Your symphony of silence. 

Mother Earth gave you life. You were born into the chaos of this world. You observed, you learned, And you have thrived thus far, child. A second, a minute, an hour, A day, a week, a month, A year, a decade; perhaps even a century. They tracked your time in this world. Time is ticking. You will grow. You will know  Seek the truth; The truth only mother knows. 

Today, my band and I wrote and recorded a song about a leopard we saw at the farm. It was a long day. I started at 8:30, downed a lot of instant coffee and that kept me going until 8:00 PM through my classes. 

I heard the drizzle outside, decided to take the bike out, get drenched. The plan was to go to HMT and back. I felt the cold wind, and little droplets of water on my skin. I raced through road humps and potholes. I went in between cars. It was all about the ride, so I didn’t stop to eat. I wanted a smoke. I fought the urge. 

I got this double petal variety of butterfly pea, and it bloomed beautifully! I made some tea out of them and the colour was perfect. But then, I felt calm and eventually drowsy! Looks like this thing can induce sleep!  I somehow slogged through the classes!  I couldn’t wait.. I had some after classes.. looking forward to crash! 

CORPUS HERMETICUM XII “Unless you make yourself equal to God, you cannot understand God: for the like is not intelligible save to the like. Make yourself grow to a greatness beyond measure, by a bound free yourself from the body: raise yourself above all time, become Eternity: then you will understand God: Believe that nothing is impossible for you, think yourself immortal and capable of understanding all arts, all sciences, the nature of every living being. Mount higher than the highest height: descend lower than the lowest depth. Draw into yourself all sensations of everything created, fire and water, dry and moist, imagining that you are everywhere, on earth, in the sea, in the sky that you are not yet born, in the maternal womb, adolescent, old, dead, beyond death. If you embrace in your thought all things at once, time, places, substances, qualities, quantities, you may understand God” I’m not there yet, I’m a prisoner of my body and mind. I’m just fighting the limitations within ...

I’m coming across a lot of grown ass men buying hot-wheels. This is more like grown ass women collecting Barbie dolls! God bless our generation! But I get it, I wanted the Mystery Machine edition as well. Limited editions are always sought after. Shoes, bags, cars you name it!  For a short while, I was obsessed with gaming, PUBG. My friends and I did it to kill time during Covid. I got addicted and eventually grew out of the gaming! I guess we all have our obsessions!  I am also meeting people, who are making business out of their obsessions. I have friends who are herpetologists, who take people on nature walks catching snakes, scorpions and anything nocturnal.  I discovered my main obsession quite early! It’s music. 

I removed and unfollowed someone today. She constantly complained about men and how incompetent they were to even date her. She frequently called out guys she had recently gone on dates with. While I understand that might come from her own experiences, I found it appalling to wake up to that kind of energy every day. So, I chose to unfollow her. Out of sight, out of mind! 

What can you learn from the rain? It just falls, serving its purpose, quenching thirst, then it goes up into air and falls down again.  What can you learn from dogs? More faithful and loving than human. They wag their tails and serve their master with loyalty.  What can you learn from Me? Just music. Else I’m not much of an example. I just fail over and over again. So just learn music from me please. 

The herb was given to me, I took my turn and passed.  Thick smoke filled the air!  Then came the interesting conversations, Games, Music and Dance,  I was bitten and kissed on my cheek,  Then the lights went out. 

The privilege was a rare one, to walk in the restricted areas within the heart of the forest with a seasoned range officer. The air outside was thick. He smelled damp earth, leaves, and fear. The officer had shared a story of another officer who wrestled a bear, losing an eye and his face a week ago. They drove through the bumpy forest roads in a Thar, halted at a spot, and then continued to walk to an area where a veterinarian doctor observed a fallen female elephant, chaos of the mating season. He had a very short glimpse of the postmortem. The stench was unbearable, almost making him puke. Seeing the half-eaten body of a huge elephant with bones sticking out was no joke. There were maggots and flies all over the place. He observed from a distance. As they walked back, fear gripped him. This was a tiger reserve; there could be a rogue bull elephant on the prowl, or venomous snakes waiting for prey. He paced through to the safety of the vehicle with a realization that, in the end, we ...

He saw me walk past him. I noticed him giving me a side eye. I was warned to not go very close to him, for he can butt me with his antlers.  Enjoyed my walk in the forest. I didn’t spot elephants or bears that I was warned of. Survived. 

Dear August,  I’m finally debt free. Thank you for arriving in the nick of time to save the day. I worried about a lot of things, and you came in like a breath of fresh air. I’m going to plot a plan with you, just to disappear for a little bit.  I just want to be free now. So off I go, to the hills, a change is going to come. Bring me slower days, softer hearts and let the sun dry the tears of every June and July!  Thank you,  A speck of dust.