Anish Nadh’s Blog

Ilaiyaraaja sends legal notices like it is a morning routine. One stretch, one yawn, one threat. Suddenly everyone in the film industry starts checking if they accidentally hummed his tune in the shower. The funniest part is this. Every notice he sends pushes young musicians further away from his songs. Not because they hate the music. They just do not want to spend their weekend replying to lawyers. So the music starts disappearing from films and reels. Not due to age. Due to fear. I discovered his songs again only because of recent movies. Just when the melodies were getting fresh love he told them to remove it. After the movie released, and after people got attached.  He even won a court case recently, now they have to remove the song even though they have permissions from the record label.  At this point it feels less like protection and more like he needs everyone to keep saying his name loudly every week. Till then the rest of us will listen to his music and hum along on...

Cold! I’m freezing at home. There was no sun today. I felt like I was in a refrigerator. It was very comfortable to stay in the sheets. I just scrolled through reels until my nephew came visiting. We spent some time together and I got him drunk with wine. What a way to spend the day!  I also broke my 4 day water fast today with some bone broth. I’m showing good progress. Gotta keep it going.  

 Today, did some gardening with mom, went shopping for my meals, jammed with the band, Faanoos, met Andy at church cane home and crashed! 

Air and water,  No earth, That’s all I’ve been engulfing  Let there be healing  Let there be clarity 

Today, I felt something shift inside me. It wasn’t loud or dramatic. It was a quiet recognition, a sudden clarity that settled in my chest like a truth I had always known but never said aloud. I realised I am not afraid to lose anything. That feeling didn’t come from recklessness or detachment. It came from honesty. From the courage to stand exactly where I am without pretending, without performing, without shaping myself to fit someone else’s expectations. Brutal honesty has a strange way of freeing you. When you speak your truth without hesitation, you stop being held hostage by what others might think or what you might lose. There’s a kind of strength that only appears when you no longer cling to outcomes. When you stop negotiating your identity for acceptance. When you stop editing your truth to make it easier for others to digest. That’s when the fear falls away. That’s when clarity steps in. I’ve learned that the people who fear loss are the ones protecting illusions. Reputation....

Tip, end of you, almost  Knobs turn,  Clockwise and anti clockwise,  The tap opens either way!  Only God knows to man the pipes!  Mortal men are tested. 

I wished Zui for her birthday and she invited me to the farm. She was reading her book with her family. Her friend Sandhya joined me as I drove to the farm.  During the book reading I noticed how observant Zui was. She picked every detail to build her characters. She also threw in references to bands and music that we were listening to/ working on.  After the book reading, we had dinner. I made pork sausages and she made pasta with Sandhya. It was a long day. We cut cake and crashed.