Why we want what we cannot have?

We often feel drawn to things that are not fully available. It happens for two reasons.

Firstly, distance creates curiosity. When something is not ours, our mind fills the empty space with possibilities. It feels exciting because nothing has challenged it yet. There is no risk and no pressure. It stays clean and comfortable in our imagination.

Secondly, we enjoy the feeling of pursuit. We like the idea of becoming better for something. The effort makes us feel alive. Even when we know the outcome may never change or have according to what we want, the act of trying gives us a sense of progress and fulfillment. 

Most of the time, it is a mix of both. A wish to stay safe from real attachment and a desire to reach for something that feels just beyond us.

In the end, we are not always attached to the person or the goal. We are attached to the idea of what it could be. And sometimes, that idea feels easier to hold than reality.